Body Obsession and Acceptance

Recently, an old friend told me that, to paraphrase, she would gladly have the face of a toad if she could just have my legs. My skinny, scrawny legs are, to her, completely desirable because I don't have what she considers the bane of her existence: "fat knees, like Claudia Schiffer." According to her, she has fat knees, and, like the former supermodel, nothing she can do in the way of exercise or diet can change that basic shape, which dooms her to a life of leg loathing and long skirts.
Meanwhile, I use to dream of having her curves, particularly on top. My least favorite body part: my stomach. Even pre-baby, it was never flat. It always had a little extra cushioning. In college, when I actually, if occasionally, wore panty hose, I always made sure they were control top, and I've even owned a girdle in my life. Not pretty. As I got older, I grew more accepting of the fact that my stomach might never be super-flat, or, to put it more accurately, that I wasn't willing to exercise enough to make it so. So I tossed the restrictive lingerie, did the little exercise I could get away with, and just learned to live with it. There's also a problem with my butt, or lack thereof. From the back, it doesn't look so bad, but from the side, it is virtually nonexistent. I have often dreamed of having a round, perky, Kylie-Minogue-ish rear end.
Recently, when a friend told me that I looked great for losing my baby weight, I joked: "Thanks. I think I look great, too - just like a 12 year old boy!" While speaking to an old friend on the phone the other day, a friend who is as petite as I am, she also mentioned that she considers herself to have a "boyish" figure. It seems none of us is ever satisfied with what we have.
What I told my fat-knee-obsessed friend, and remind myself of constantly, is this: At some point, and I think we are there, we need to accept the fact that we are never going to be supermodels or screen sirens or pop stars. We are 30-something mommies with flawed bodies, but husbands and kids who love us just the way we are. We don't have to look like a Victoria's Secret model (and they don't even look like that, anyway). So maybe it is time to let go of the constant quest to examine and obsess over our bodies, and learn to just accept them, flaws and all. Maybe we will never have washboard abs or scrawny knees, and maybe, just maybe, we can be okay with that.

Exercise: Do What You Can, But Just Do It

When I was speaking to my friend Nerissa a couple of days ago, the subject turned to exercise. Like me, Nerissa has two young daughters, but her youngest is two. When she heard about my Mommy Makeover, and my plans to take a couple of yoga classes every week, she told me to go easy on myself. "Just do what you can do," she said. And then she added: "It becomes a lot easier to take care of yourself after your youngest is two." This from the girl who's just been tapped to teach her dance exercise class. But she's right, I thought. Right now I can only do what I have the time and stamina for. So I've decided to take only one yoga class a week, on Saturday mornings. In between, I'm going to find a great video and try to do it a couple of more times a week. And I'm going to renew my effort to try to take walks with the girls, maybe before dinner as a way to wind down from the day, when it's not so hot outside.
I actually managed to read this month's Vogue before it was too old to be relevant, and the cover story was about Gwyneth Paltrow. I've always found her to be a little too cool and self-possessed to relate to, but after reading this article, I like her so much more. Not only does she sound like a fabulous mother (she didn't even have a nanny for the first year and a half of her daughter's life!), she said a lot of things that I could relate to. For instance, she will only allow herself to exercise when her babies are napping or in school. Otherwise, it feels too indulgent. That's exactly how I feel! That's why I can't go to a midmorning yoga class and leave my babies behind! She also said that now that she's over 30 with two kids, she has to work really hard at her body, and she has permanently gone up from a size 4 to a size 6. I love the fact that she had a healthy acceptance of her new body size. What a good role model!

Baby Lust: The Next Five Favorites

This is the second installment of my column, Baby Lust, in which I feature all of my favorite baby gear - the things that make life with baby a bit easier! Here, five more of my top picks:

1. Graco Pack 'n Play: Okay, I always swore I would never use a play yard, because I thought it was an easy way to neglect your baby. But this is really a lifesaver. For Lola, I used it for occasional naps at Grandma's house when one of her cousins was using the crib, but now that she is an active, rambunctious toddler, this provides a safe place to park Eva, the baby, temporarily. I love the changing table insert, which is where I change all of Eva's diapers downstairs, safely away from her big sister. She gets some tummy time in there, and I plan on packing it up to take to my in-laws in Illinois this summer to use as a bed for one of the babies (not sure which one, yet, but probably Eva). My only complaint: it's quite ugly. Oh, well.

2. Frog Pod: Boon is another one of those hip companies that makes great-looking baby gear, and this product is just ingenious. It is a big green plastic frog that is actually a scoop you can use to whisk baby toys out of the bathtub. Since it drains, you can scoop up all the toys, rinse them under the tap, and then hang it on the wall in its base. So clever. I also love this big furry beanbag that the company makes. It arrives empty, but you use it to store all of your child's stuffed animals. When it's full, it's a cushy bean bag with little mesh windows so they can see their animals. Lola has it in pink.

3. Kiddopotamus bib and placemat: Kiddopotamus makes these cool, soft silicone bibs and placemats that are the best on the market. The bibs have huge crumb catchers and wash clean with soap and water, and they look cool. They have saved so many of Lola's outfits (not too mention saved me from having to clean up the floor so many times) and they give her a second chance at that elusive dropped bite. I don't know why anyone would use bibs without crumb catchers. The other great product is made of the same soft silicone, but it's a big placemat that suctions to any table surface, wiht its own crumb catcher. It's a great surface for baby to eat off of at restaurants. When Lola was eating just finger food, I would often give her Cheerios, cheese, cut-up grapes, etc to eat right off the placemat! I really consider these items to be absolute musts once your baby starts solids. I got mine at One Step Ahead.

4. Snack Trap: Okay, this is another one of the best inventions ever. It's a little snack cup with a lid that has little openings so that your baby can reach the snack, without it falling out. I LOVE this. It was one of the only things that kept Lola happy in the car. I would fill it with fruit, Cheerios, raisins, those Gerber fruit puffs or any other small snack imaginable and she would just munch away in the back of the car, without making a mess! They're availabe at Babies R Us and One Step Ahead (I swear I don't work for the company!).

5. Bottlelink: This is the only product on the list that I don't actually own yet. It's a plastic link chain designed to keep baby's bottle, pacifier, or sippy cup from falling out of the stroller. I plan to use it to keep Lola from tossing her sippy cup in the car and then asking for it immediately afterwards. I just ordered two, one for the car seat and one for the stroller. www.bottlelink.com.

Babies and the Sun

I'm obsessed with sun protection, in general, and that's definitely reflected in my preoccupation with my babies' skin. Both of my babies seem to share their father's milky white skin (courtesy of an Irish-Swedish-etc. heritage), with barely a hint of the olive that makes my skin so burn-proof. I started secretly slathering SPF on Lola when she was 4 months old (you're supposed to wait until they are 6 months)and when my husband caught me, I tried to convince him that she was close enough. He didn't buy it. Today, she gets an application of sunscreen every single morning, rain or shine. (It just occurred to me that I should try one of those sunscreen sticks for her face. It's so small that it's hard to do a good job without getting the goo everywhere, and without her running away!).
This afternoon, for the first time, the four of us spent time poolside. I spent most of the time lounging on our outdoor bed with Eva while Kevin and Lola played in the pool. It's an amazing king sized "bed" (a gift from Kevin's parents) that is complete with a canopy and side curtains that can completely block out the sun. I kept Eva in the shade and kept her covered in a little striped Ralph Lauren baby dress. Lola wore Baby Blanket SPF45 sunscreen and a cute little skirted bikini from Gymboree that has UPF50 built into the fabric. I also kept chasing after her with a cute matching sun hat.
Later, we all hung out on the bed, eating cheese and crackers and popsicles and just enjoying the glorious day, with the music of songbirds and the smell of jasmine floating through the air. It was really idyllic.
Since we have learned about the perils of too much sun exposure, summer has ceased to be as carefree as it used to be. That's why I'm a big advocate of sun protection that is built into clothing. It's completely effortless! All you have to worry about are the exposed areas, and as anyone who's tried to apply sunscreen to a squirmy baby knows, that's more than enough! So, on that note, here is my list of top sunscreen products for kids:

UPF-treated clothing: Why can't all clothes have sunscreen built into the fabric? Fortunately, more and more companies are catching on to this. I just bought a couple of bathing suits for Lola, one of them that matches Eva's, from Gymboree and they have a UPF of 50. (UPF is like SPF for clothes). Other companies that have UPF clothing include Cabana Life, Sea Folly, One Ste Ahead, and Land's End. For a long time, most of these clothes were strictly utilitarian, but now many of them are actually cute!

RIT Sun Guard: This stuff is miraculous. It's a powder that you wash your clothes in, and it boosts the UPF of your clothing to a 30. For example, a regular white t-shirt only has an SPF of 5, but with one washing in this stuff, it will have a UPF of 50. No need to be limited to clothing (or bathing suits) with UPF built in! And it last through several washes. I don't understand why this stuff isn't more famous!

Sunscreen Wipes: The easiest, most mess-free way to apply sun protection to a baby. As easy as using a baby wipe - you can even cover most of a squirmy toddler during a routine diaper change! Several companies make them, including Baby Blanket(which makes nice big ones, available at Babies R Us) , Baby Silk, and Swipes. But skip the ones by Desert Essence. They're tiny and not saturated enough to offer adequate protection. Unfortunately, sunscreen wipes are a little on the pricey side, but quite worth it!

Sun Sensors: These cute little stickers are an ingenious concept - they change color when your baby has had too much sun! And kids think love them. Available at onestepahead.com.

Sun Canopies: These are like little tents that pop up and offer an instant shady, UPF-protectant spot to hang out in at the beach or the park. One Step Ahead offers a couple of great ones - I just ordered the big family size one for the summer.

My Quest for a Bathing Suit

Recently, I told a friend that I was going to start investigating one-piece bathing suits. Without missing a beat, she said: "I need to start investigating caftans." Funny, but for many of us, so true. So I've decided to approach this body makeover thing backwards. Since there is a very good chance that it is going to take me the better part of the summer to improve the look of the scars on my stomach, as well as the muscle tone, and since I can't hide under a coverup all summer long wtih a very active toddler who wants to be in the water (the worst part of motherhood for a couch potato like myself!), I've decided I need to find a bathing suit that will work for me in the meantime. Me, right now. I need a little more coverage around the middle to hide my scars, but I still want something sexy and not matronly. Fortunately, there seem to be a lot of options right now. So here is my list of potential bathing suits! Please vote and help me out!

My (Not So) Short List

A bikini I might be able to pull off!
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How cute is this!
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Do I dare?
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I'm short waisted, so I don't know if I can pull this off...
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I would wear this tankini top with the swim skirt (see below)!
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Cute!
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This is hot, but I'm not sure it would hide my scars
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Not sure...
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Too conservative?
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Adorable!
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So glamorous!
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Imagine the tan lines...
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Bathing Suits I wish I could wear!

Mabye it's actually her body I want...
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So adorable!
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This also comes in a tankini but it's not nearly as cute!
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Love this!
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Baby Lust: Top 5 Must Have Baby Gear List

Okay, I've decided to start a weekly "column" (yes, a column on my own blog) called Baby Lust. In this column, I will make a list of that week's must-have items for babies and toddlers. Since I consider myself a seasoned shopper, this list will consist of things I've spotted and adore, and plan to buy, have bought, or hope to buy in the future. To kick off this column, here's my Top 5 List of the items I've found most ingenious and indispensable. I am sure I will be adding to this, as I discover/remember more of the items that make every day life with babies a little easier:

1. Skip Hop Play Spot: I love this company, because they make the most mundane things look and work better. I love Splash, the coolest looking bottle drying rack ever, and the Toolbox, a diaper caddy (which I don't use for diapers, since I find it too small - I use it for all the miscellaneous lotions, hair accessories, nail clippers, etc. that accumulate downstairs). But my favorite Skip Hop product is the Play Spot is a set of interlocking EVA foam tiles that provide a safe, padded, and best of all, cool-looking surface for babies and toddlers to play on. It's easy to clean and the forgiving surface has saved Lola from dozens of nasty spills. We have it in pink and brown. $79 to cover 70" x 56" (we have four sets to cover our entire play area) LINK


2. Svan High Chair: Everything a high chair should be! It's infinitely adjustable, super easy to clean, light enough to move around, and takes up very little space in your kitchen. And it looks great. About $250 LINK

3. Primo EuroBath: This contoured bathtub is molded to fit a baby safely and comfortably. With Eva, who is 4 months old, I use a padded insert from Leach (available at onestepahead.com) but in a month or two, she will graduate to just the tub and it will last until she's at least 1 year old. About $30 LINK

4. Oeuf Baby Lounger: When I first registered for this bouncer, my sister teased me because it lacks the bells and whistles that the other bouncers have. So I bought both a regular ugly Fisher Price bouncer with toys and music, and this one as well, because it's the best looking bouncer on the market. It's completely un-cheesy. I've found it to be really useful for my babies to catch a little quiet time, and it's a lot easier than a regular bouncer to lug around from room to room. When Lola was an infant, she cried every time we took her out of the bath, so we spread a towel on this bouncer and placed her in it and immediately started bouncing it up and down to keep her from crying. (Any bouncer with a towel draped over it makes a great safe place to put a slippery baby after a bath, especially when bathing her alone). $98 LINK


5. Vice Versa Pacifier: Again, a company that makes the most ordinary things look extraordinary. This Italian company makes hip, whimsical baby feeding accessories, and the coolest pacifier out there. Featuring a big, squishy bubble instead of a ring and a very convenient, hygienic case, this has been Lola's favorite from the start. $10.50 LINK

Rethinking the Uniform

There's a column in Cookie magazine (published by Conde Nast, the people behind Vogue, but it's for parents) called The Uniform. It gives you ideas for a look to wear to pick up the kids, go to work, etc. It made me think about my mommy uniform, and how it's changed. When Lola was an infant and I was nursing (constantly, it seemed), jersey dresses from names like Ella Moss and Rachel Pally were first hitting the stores. My wardrobe consisted of variations on the same theme - a swingy jersey dress with an either strappy top or a wrap top, so that it was nursing accessible. I came to own so many of these dresses and wore the same look so often that it started to grow old. Then winter rolled around (or what passes for it in Daytona Beach) and I started wearing long-sleeved wrap front tops with jeans or warm-up suits over nursing camisoles. Again, that quickly grew old, and unlike the jersey-dress look, it made me feel like a frump. After I stopped nursing, I was briefly reunited with my old wardrobe before quickly getting pregnant again. Now that I'm no longer pregnant, I am back to wearing clothes I can nurse in, and I'm looking for a new uniform. I spent the winter, truth be told, in warm-up suits again, and I am so over them. I want a new uniform, and a good one this time. So this is what I'm thinking:


Slightly wide-legged pants and flowy tops from Anthropologie
Those cute new cargo-style shorts dressed up with button-front tops and colorful wedges
Shirtdresses
Babydoll or empire style dresses that are in some way nursing-accessible (is that a term, or did I just make it up?)
Rompers. Never thought that I would be using that word to refer to clothes for myself and not my two year old, but there you go. Anyway, I've bought a couple of these short jumpsuits, and they look really cute on a petite frame (read: a short person, like moi).


These are a couple of my latest finds:

Love this top from Anthropologie - it's cute and super-wearable: LINK

The romper I just bought from ShopBop: LINK

Ego Boost

Last weekend, on April 5, I attended a couple of reunion activities during my college homecoming weekend. Although the weekend overall was very stressful for me (I felt a combination of worry and guilt over leaving my girls for a few hours), I did get a couple of ego boosts which made me feel that I haven't let myself go as much as I'd feared.
First, when I'm at my sorority open house on Saturday afternoon, I run into a couple of old friends that I haven't seen in more than 15 years. At first, Jen told me that I looked exactly the same, but later, she said that she thinks I actually look better. "It's all smoke and mirrors," I joke, but I mean it. I feel like I am barely keeping it together. But a couple of hours later at a football game, someone else told me the same thing.
As we're taking a group picture, one of my friends says: "You're only as old as your roots show." Thank God I had mine done.
Later, on my way to the evening's festivities, I stop at a gas station and a young man comes up to me and starts blatantly flirting. I had asked another guy in his car to help me take the gas cap off, and so his opening line was: "How is it you don't know how to take the gas cap off your car?" Immediately I say: "Because my husband always gets gas for me." (Pathetic, I know, but true.) End of story, I think. But he proceeds to flirt away and tells me that I am perfect from head to toe. Flattering as this is, I inform him that he is half my age. After trying to convince me he's 25 (I know 25 - I tell him - I was there once) he finally fesses up and tells me he's 19. Gulp. He is exactly half my age. All this while I am pumping gas. Finally, at the event, the lead singer hands me his card and asks me to call him. I am literally flabbergasted. I am almost back, I think, and it feels fabulous.
Spring is a crazy-busy time for me, and as I see no end in sight (our church conference, guests and Lola's 2nd birthday party occupy much of the next couple of weeks) I've decided I need to take baby steps, since my time is so limited. So every day I am going to chronicle those baby steps, rather than feeling guilty because I didn't do something major enough to blog about. Tonight, I'm going to do a skin treatment. And tomorrow, I'm finally going to make an appointment with my dermatologist and investigate peels, Botox, and all the other fabulous things I couldn't do while pregnant. And, I'm going to start small with my yoga and my Dr. Oz program, and get through a couple of things a week. Baby steps, for sure, but still a start.

Close, but not quite...

Today I had a meeting to attend that kicked off my college's homecoming weekend, and even though at first glance I appeared to look okay, upon further inspection, here's what you would have seen:
Three little scratches on my nose from when Lola affectionately tried to yank it off
Straggly eyebrows that need trimming and plucking
Unmanicured fingernails
Skin in need of some TLC
A spot on my dress near the waistline from some Taco Bell that I ate on the way - my first meal of the day
Lackluster skin and dark circles that are a sign of sleep deprivation

So tonight, I'm going to fix my eyebrows, give myself a quick manicure and do a skin treatment of some sort. Then I'm going to go to sleep and pray that my girls do the same!

Monday, it's back on the makeover wagon (again!)

One Week Cuter : )

Seriously, where does the time go? I have been hard at work on my mommy makeover, and this is what I've done in the last week.
Last Thursday I had my hair colored and a pedicure. Both were desperately needed. I wish I could say I did something exciting and dramatically different with my hair, but for now just covering the gray roots had to do. (I've had them since my late 20s!). I was thrilled with the pedicure, though. I tried a new shade, Funny Bunny by OPI, which is a cool white shade that looks great on my toes.
I have resumed a modest skincare routine and hope to add on to it soon, after my upcoming visit to the dermatologist.
Due to the completely chaotic week and weekend I've been having (my husband is going out of town and I have my college homecoming - and I'm on the alumni board - all in the same weekend) I haven't attended another yoga class, but I have 2 scheduled in the next week - both are yoga dates with friends. My goal is to attend 2 classes weekly. That is all my schedule can handle right now!
Last night I snuck out of the house, left my daughters with my husband, and did some shopping. I bought the hottest dress ever! It is seriously the cutest thing I've bought in a couple of years, in my opinion, and it wasn't even that expensive. You know how sometimes you just know that something was made for you and you just have to have it!? It's a gorgeous silky jersey material in an amazing print with a jeweled medallion at the bust. It's by Jagger, and I can't find anything about them online except for a couple of adorable tops at Nordstrom, so when I find a link I will post it here. I also bought a great tunic, also by Jagger, a red cotton dress with a ribbed waistline and a bubble hem from Miss Sixty, and black and white patent leather shoes from BCBG. I wanted to buy some hot, glamorous, non-mommy-ish clothes for this weekend, and I think I succeeded. I will post a picture of myself in that dress on Monday, after I wear it on Saturday night.
Now, I promise, starting on Monday, I WILL get back on track for my 14 day (week? year?) program, but at least I'm making progress!