Making an Effort

Recently, my friend Kari stopped by. Eventually, talk turned to fashion, as it inevitably does, and Kari's need to sift through her closet before she moves her clothes back into her newly renovated home. She commented on how "beautiful" I looked at a meeting the previous week. Now Kari is a dear friend, and so I think her opinion of my looks is colored by her feelings for me, but I was flattered nonetheless. I remember that night so well, because it was more hectic than usual. I threw on a pair of William Rast "Rachel" jeans and a silvery Miss Sixty sweater with flowy, pleated sleeves, and an ancient pair of silver Dolce & Gabbana mules. I pulled my hair back and applied a little bit of makeup (Nars Orgasm blush, MAC "Legendary" Pro Longwear lipstick, Diorshow Blackout Mascara) in the car, and never even checked my reflection. She compared me to a mutual friend, Michelle. Michelle is slim and gorgeous. Her hair and makeup are always perfect, and her clothes are flawless. She is the only person I know whose wardrobe I would gladly switch with, sight unseen. Her amazing outfits are always accessorized with the perfect jewelry, Gucci shoes and a Gucci bag. I have never once seen her without makeup or wearing sweats. As Kari and I discussed her enviable style, she said that, in her opinion, Michele and I are both glamorous, but it's obvious that she takes time to care for her appearance, whereas I look like it comes naturally to me. In other words, one of us makes an effort, and the other (me) is a little more haphazard.

I used to be Michelle. My outfits were always immaculate, my hair and makeup done (even at 1 a.m., studying for finals in the sorority house), my accesories always well-chosen. And then I had babies. These days, if I manage to make it look effortless, it's not. It's a small miracle when I manage to leave the house with my teeth brushed and my hair washed. My husband was recently shocked to learn that I managed to make it upstairs, wash my hair, apply my skin care products, brush my teeth, get dressed and come downstairs in 12 minutes. What happened to the woman who used to take 40 minute showers? Who used to have separate creams for her elbows, her cuticles, and her tummy? Who used to spend hours as a spa, indulging in wraps and scrubs and massages? She is gone. She has been replaced by a woman who sometimes has to choose between applying makeup and going to the bathroom. Who falls into bed at night without remembering to use her bleaching trays or her face mask. Who hasn't had a manicure since before her last child was born.

I love that my friend Kari things I make looking good seem effortless. But I'll love it even more when I have time to make an effort! : )